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Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi? An Interview with Dr. Joe Kort

Male sexual fluidity is something that’s often not discussed in the public.

When it comes to male sexuality, you might be tempted to want to define a man as straight, bisexual, or gay, but it’s not always as straightforward as that.

Some of the many variations of male sexuality include:

  • men who have sex with men but define their sexual identity as straight
  • men who enjoy sex with women and men, but don’t want to have a romantic relationship with a man
  • men who are married to a woman and have sexual fantasies about having sex with men
  • men who identify as straight but enjoy gay pornography

To get some clarity on the complex topic of male sexual fluidity, I recently spoke with US therapist and sexologist Dr. Joe Kort, who is the author of the book: Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? A Guide for Concerned Women.

In this interview I ask Dr. Kort the following questions:

  • What inspired you to write this book?
  • What are the most common myths you’ve heard about married men who have sex with men?
  • What are some of the most common reasons a straight man may have sex with another man?
  • What are some of the prejudices about men who have sex with men but don’t identify as gay?
  • Why is it so hard for people to believe that a man can have sex with another man and not be gay?
  • If a straight man watches gay porn does that mean he’s gay? And how can his wife make sense of this if she discovers this?
  • Can a marriage recover from a discovery that the husband is having sex with men?
  • What’s a mixed-orientation relationship?
  • What’s your view on the new terminology like mostly straight or hetero-flexible?
  • What takeaways do you hope people get from your book?

This is a fascinating interview where Dr. Kort shines a light on a topic that is rarely discussed in the public arena. Watch the video below or listen to the audio.

Watch the video below:

Listen to the audio below:

About Dr. Joe Kort:

Dr Joe KortDr Joe Kort is a Psychotherapist, coach, and author based in Detroit, Michigan who has been in practice since 1985. He specialises in Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy, as well as IMAGO Relationship Therapy. Dr Kort is also a Board Certified Sexologist specialising in sex therapy and sexual identity. He is also an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor and offers workshops for couples and singles. He runs a gay men’s group therapy and a men’s sexuality group therapy for straight, bi and gay men who are struggling with specific sexual issues. Dr Kort’s practice is mixed with straight, gay, lesbian and bi-attractional individuals and couples. His websites include www.joekort.com and www.straightguise.com

Books by Dr. Joe Kort:

Are you an LGBTQI+ person who is struggling in your life or relationships?

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