What does a relationship look like in 2011? Well to start, that question itself is a bit pointless because, as we all have surely experienced, every relationship looks a bit different. But wait a tick, isn’t a relationship supposed to be between a man and a woman who love each other? Marriage, kids, house in the burbs, the whole shebang?
Dave’s story is one that is familiar with many gay men. He was feeling frustrated and despaired about the state of his love life. It felt like he was on a dating merry-go-round. His relationships were frequently short-lasting and he cycled through many brief flings and one-night stands that went nowhere.
After a week of incredible dust storms in Sydney and the problems we all had with our vision (and breathing!), it got me thinking about the difficulties we sometimes have with our vision in gay relationships. In my gay relationship counselling work with singles and couples, I often hear statements such as, “I just fell into this relationship and found out after 4 months we are not working.”
Have you thought much about what makes some gay relationships work and others fail? I have been interested in this question, through working with gay individuals and same-sex couples with relationship issues over many years. I am always interested in what helps some couples have loving, respectful and successful relationships and others experience constant pain and heartache.