In my counselling work with the gay community, I am staggered by how many gay men report they have dissatisfying relationships. It seems to be the norm that gay men feel lonely, isolated and disconnected from other gay men and the broader community in general. If they are part of the gay community, many of their relationships tend to be superficial, vacuous and consist of ‘fair-weather friends’.
Are You Touch Starved in Your Gay Relationship?
Some new research reported in the New York Times suggests that couples that engage in more touch report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This might sound like common sense, but it is also a good reminder of what helps sustain successful relationships. Although it is hard to know what came first for these couples, the relationship satisfaction or the touch, it is clear that there is a link between the two, and that touch is a powerful tool for building relationships.
Relationships 2.0: 6 Tips to Avoid Gay Relationship Breakdown
Time and time again in my clinical practice, I am coming across clients who report gay relationship breakdown because of problems in communication related to social media and the web 2.0. Web 2.0 refers to the new era of the internet where we have moved from static websites that people visit to an interactive social web where people form online communities and share information and resources.
The Top Ten Gay Relationship Myths (Part 2)
Some people believe that whatever kind of childhood they had, it has no bearing on the relationships they form in adulthood. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is impossible to not bring the influences of your childhood into your relationship. It is in childhood that we develop a ‘blueprint’ for relating. We learn and internalize what we perceive love is and how it is expressed.
4 Steps to a Great Gay Relationship
I have been reflecting on my counselling work of the last week, when I worked with a number of couples that were in enormous emotional pain. It had me asking myself the question, what is it that happens in gay relationships that causes pain? One answer I come back to again and again is related to needs.